Adopting

For all of you that want to adopt, save a chicken today.

I went to the Sylvia Beach Hotel this weekend
Click on the picture for a fun, and EXCITING slideshow

I LOVE OUR PILOTS!
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Embarassing moments...aka My Life story.

I know everyone has embarassing moments. However, most people have only one like every year or even spread out into one every 2-3 years. Not me.

My life is a plethera of embarassing moments strung together by akward silences.

An ex-boyfriend (if you can call him that, I did break up with him over a text message - but what can I say, like I was going to fly the 30 minutes to do it in person?!?) Didn't belive me. After the first date, he was a beliver.

I would write them all out, but It would take up to many pages.

so here's a just the top ten from work in the last few weeks (umm maybe days) : (this is not for the weak at heart)

1) last weeks unannounced 'fire hose like' explosive puking, in uniform, in front of 20 other crew members and a bazillion passangers in the middle of the Denver airport. It was virtually miles from a bathroom (that airport is too big for it's own good!). I had no warning, and felt fine before and after. Just a little present to keep me humble.

2) doing the whole Inflight demonstration (just a little charades we flight attendants do before flights for you lucky passangers) without any of the little props (safty card, O2 mask, seat belt) and not noticing until I was almost done....Don't ask...it was early....

3) later that day...getting the giggles when trying to do the inflight announcements...to the point of laughing so hard, for so long the passangers looked scared. I couldn't finish and another F/A (short for Flight Attendant) had to for me.

4) Getting the same uncontrolable laughter every day, when I do the announcements.Without fail.

5) at least a few times a week (or day) I annouce the wrong city, timezone, or country (and I only fly in the US) on landing.

6) bending over to get snacks out, other F/A giggles and tells me my skirt rode up and I flashed the whole flight.

7) In the same vein, standing on the Jet way with the cover off, there was no one around but my one of my best friends and fellow F/A. It was a beautiful day. All the rampers and pilots were no where to be seen. We were joking around and I was showing her the run in my stocking (where my butt hits my leg) as I danced around on the Jetway (in my defence, the uniform dress that they gave me barely covers my butt anyway) . Later, as the passangers boarded, a few guys commented on my lovely dancing, I looked out of the plane and saw a giant window in the boarding area overlooking the very same Jetway I was practicly naked on. Oops, I guess I gave all my passangers a show. One creepy old guy mentioned he took digital pictures but wouldn't show me.

ok, top seven. I am getting tired. Both physically, and just tired of being so darn self-effacing.

Ciao

Johnny's 5 questions?

Q1: what kind of organization is the 7 mile club and if it had a secret handshake what would it be?

The 7 mile high club is for anyone who's workspace is at 35,000 feet or higher. It has nothing to do with the mile high club as it is 6 miles higher and less "sexual". Secret handshake is: Palm to fist, Fist to palm, Fist to fist, then high 5 (always need a high5)


Q2: you are working and find that OW is sitting in your section. would you change your behaviour while in his vicinity and if so how?

I pride myself in treating everyone special and making them feel cared about, going the extra mile. So I would do my normal thing, stowing his bag, giving him snacks, juices, coffee, my phone number, back massage, foot massage, manicure, wash his hair, trim his nose hair, take pictures of him from every angle, hand him a script. Just the normal level of customer service I try to extend to everyone.

Q3: what percentage of passengers do think actually eat that bag of complementary nuts?

We give out frito's or sun chips so that would be no one, because we don't have nuts, that are complimentry. We do have the two pilots in the "cockpit" which are similar in many ways.

Q4: what is the coolest outfit you own and what does it look like?

The coolest outfit I own is my favorite jeans that are normally $400 that I got at red light for $25. (D&G). They're comfy.

Q5: you have a choice between going out for beers with the pilots or going shopping for makeup with the attendants. which do you choose and why?

Neither, I would choose to stay in my hotel room, watch cable and eat take out.

Blogg on down, Blogg on down, Blogg on down the road...

I am really streaching to come up with something blogg worthy. It's hard that I started this blog during a flying hiatus, because my life seems a bit boring.

Last night after a trip with Moz to Powells city of books (with the 'wonder-the- info guy', that never looked up from his book, and answered our question about searching for book with -"I don't know"), I bought some Golden Grahams. That was cool. yummy.

Had a little get together at Sloop and Moz's. Bonita St. James and her significant was there, as well as Johnny Crash. They reminised (sp?!?) about THE BEST PARTY EVER. Which I didn't go to as I didn't know about. That's cool though, I don't care. The pain will subside eventually.

Watched the end of Apprentice, was shocked to see that The Trumpster fired someone. TV never fails to suprise me.

Watched Zoolander (fantastic film), my boyfriend is in it (O.W) I think he is sending me personal messages thru his movies.

I promise to lead a more exciting life, and here, read some airline companies newsletter. I don't know how I aquired it, I just did. That's all you need to know.

throwing it down.

Its been like a week or more and I haven't put anything in this bloggerific blog.

For shame, I haven't done anything this week noteworthy or blogg worthy for that matter.

I do have to say, spent some time with the nieces, v. v. v. cute. My oldest neice Stella, is 3. A smart 3. She chattes up in such volume that it is obvious we are related. We talked about movies, I told her my favorite was Bottlerocket. She laughed and said she didn't like it (I bet she hasn't even seen it). Who is she to judge, what has she ever done with her life?

I mocked her later after finding out that her favorite movie is Finding Nemo, I mean how droll! We then discussed the life affirming message that the movie Cinderella emparts. Stella had some good points about Elitism and the caste system in Fairy Tale land and how that translates into current world views. She really made me think, I may need to reacess my current life style in light of her statements.

Hopefully I will have something more exciting to blog about later!

My Brilliant day - pondering big life decisons.

So.

This is my first post on I'm really excited.

No really I am.

Seriously.

So I'm waiting for #3 incident.

What is this you ask? Alright I'll tell you.

You know how every bad thing comes in three's? Well they do.

I'm on two. Worst place to be because I know there's one more out there. waiting. watching.

So I belive #1 was when I forgot to bid for my schedule. For all of you not in the know - that means I, based on senority, every month pick my scedule. If for some silly reason someone didn't remember to do this for the next 35 days they have to sit on call for the whole month. (I perhaps was that someone) That wouldn't be so bad if you lived where you work. However like many in my industry I commute from portland to a diffrent city a few states away. So I have to sit in a hotel or apartment that I pay for waiting to see if they need me...for a month. The sucky thing, well one of the sucky things about this is that I just got tickets to the Ellen Show.

Yipee.

But I can't go because I have to sit in another state.

Watching cable.

Waiting. (or I could skip out of work that day...hmm)

Number #2 was today. I was driving, while talking on the phone. My favorite pastime. And I was sitting at the light (in Portland) where the I-5 Exit from Southbound hits Portland Blvd. As most people know you can't turn right on a red light here.

I know this.

But I was on the phone.

Chatting away.

The car in front of me turned on the red. I started to go but saw him get pulled over by cop chick on motorcycle. I didn't even cross over the crosswalk. Home free. I made a joke about it to my brother on the phone.

Light turned green, I turned chatting away and saw the motorcycle chick wave me over.

Shit.

She gave me a ticket because by starting to turn, I indicated that I would have turned if I didn't see her. Which is true, but should we get tickets for intending to do something? My driving record was so nice and clear.

Bitchs.

The good news was she didn't give me a ticket for my expired tags (did you know you have to renew those every year? how redundent!) nor my expired license - which I would have understood, it has been since June...I should pop by the DMV sometime. So I just have a $235 dollar ticket for the running of the red light. or intending to...

So number #3 I know your out there....I'm going to Toronto for an interview this week...I hope #3 doesn't happen then.....

What was your last trio of three bad incidents? Does it work that way for you?

Also - side bar - I am trying to decide If I will A) Go to Dubai and work for airline there or B) Stay in Portland, Or C) Start a rock band in Santa Monica.

A) a roommate who will remain nameless thinks this is not a good Idea. Boo! Die!

B) I like it here. It's green. But here my layovers are Yakima and Walla Walla. In Dubai they would be Milan and Paris...India..Austrailia...New Zeland...whatever..I'm sure I'd miss Walla Walla, Washington and all the onions there.

C) Rock band? Santa Monica? I don't rock, I can't sing, play? yeah right. I like the beach and the warm weather though, I'd have to be homeless cause' I can't afford it down there but there are perks to that too... Like hanging out on the docks and eating garbage. sweet.

What should I do?